If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
