Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
