I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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