I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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