Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I just had sex on a roof
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
