Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
my poor anus
Randomize
