at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize