I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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