There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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