I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just gargled with NyQuil
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
