I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
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