I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
