Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
