Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
