Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
