you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
