some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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