is wine microwaveable?
Everything about him screamed your future.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
