16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
