I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
