but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize