i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
