is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
