and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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