I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
