I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
