I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I want to be your penis for a week.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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