they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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