I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
