why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
