i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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