dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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