He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
