I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
