do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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