dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
