Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
