just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Randomize
