plz talk dirty to me
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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