Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
