so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
