He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So vagazzling was a success
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
