I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
