problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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