Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
