In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
She made me pour olive oil on her.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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