Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
im holly from the hills drunk
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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