A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
we're so committed to being not committed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
