We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
