I wish I could punch you in the face.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
