We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
