Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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