Whod you bang
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
