It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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