For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
she peed on how many people?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
