i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
