This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need to calm my uterus...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize