ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
