That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
