I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
