We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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