Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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