there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
