I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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