my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
