Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
