so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Randomize
