Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
