Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
