Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
