i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
