how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
