I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
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